Jack Kukoda

Show me

your goats.

Convoluted Pick-Up Lines

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 1:54 pm on Monday, March 27, 2006

Number 1

ME: Are you wearing astronaut underwear?

HER: No. Why?

ME: Because your ass reminds me of when the Challenger exploded.

HER: That was in poor taste.

Number 2

ME: Do you have a mirror in your pants?

HER: What? Why?

ME: Because I’m on a scavenger hunt and I need a mirror that was up someone’s ass.

HER: (Handing me her mirror) Okay, here you go.

ME: Thanks. Now I just need a picture of me in front of the Empire State Building. Wow, I can’t believe you really had a mirror up your ass.

HER: Don’t mention it.

Number 3

ME: Is your refrigerator running?

HER: Uh, I believe so.

ME: Well, then you better go catch it!

HER: I think this prank is supposed to be performed over the telephone.

ME: I think you’re a telephone.

HER: Sir, if you’re not going to purchase a kitchen appliance, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store.

Actual pick-up lines.

Whatever Became Of The Super Drugs?

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Lists — By Jack at 1:24 am on Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Last Minute Birthday Gifts

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 7:53 am on Monday, March 20, 2006

Time For Another Half-Assed List!

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 3:57 pm on Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Happy Ash Wednesday

Filed under: Lists, Blatant Lies — By Jack at 7:52 am on Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Least Convincing Prosthetics

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 8:30 am on Thursday, February 23, 2006

What To Do Tonight If You’re Single

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 4:27 pm on Tuesday, February 14, 2006

What’s That? You Want Another Hilarious List? You Got It.

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 8:46 am on Wednesday, February 8, 2006

I Would Make A Really Hip Lesbian

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 8:53 am on Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Time For Another Half-Assed List

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 9:08 am on Friday, January 20, 2006

What’s Crueler Than Cockfighting? Glad You Asked

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 1:18 pm on Monday, January 9, 2006

The Everday Playlist

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 9:34 am on Monday, January 9, 2006

No, Seriously, My Apartment Is Freezing

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Lists — By Jack at 1:09 pm on Friday, January 6, 2006

Last Christmas List, I Swear

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 12:55 pm on Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Time To Update A Hilarious Christmas-Related List!

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 2:20 pm on Wednesday, December 21, 2005
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