Last night the Buffalo Sabres won their first division title in 10 years and their first conference title since 1980 by beating the Pittsburgh Penguins. It was pretty sweet. I watched the game in my living room wearing four pairs of zubaz, a Jim Schoenfeld jersey, and a chicken wing hat. That is how I class things up for the games.
Anyway, since people from Buffalo have a tendency to get a little irrationally optimistic about their sports teams, there’s already talk about whether or not this is the best Sabres team of all time. It is not. Because I was on the greatest Sabres team of all time. But we weren’t called the Sabres. And we didn’t play in the NHL. And instead of playing hockey, we competed by seeing who could sell the most American flags door to door. Aside from that, same thing.
I would ring someone’s doorbell and when they answered I’d yell, “How’d you like to buy an American flag?” If they said no, I’d pretend to ‘drop’ one of the flags on their doorstep. Then I’d tell them that tradition states that if an American flag touches your hearth, you must buy it. Or else you will have 8 years of bad luck. They’d usually buy one after that. Sometimes people would refuse to buy the flags so I’d say I understand, then walk away. Then later I’d come back to their house and throw a flag wrapped around a brick right through their window. That will teach them about patriotism.
Anyhoo, what’s this about? Ah, the Sabres. They are pretty awesome. Any readers of this site are welcome to come over to my apartment to watch all the playoff games and feed me chicken wings and beer while I listen to my arteries clog up and my heart creak along. Stanley Cup Fever, catch it!!!