Onion News Network Launches Today
Hey kids, so remember how I mentioned a while back that I was working on a project, but couldn’t really say much about it? Of course you remember that. I know you all memorize every post on this site like an army of Rain Men. Anyway, that project is the Onion News Network, the Onion’s new video newscast. Here’s one of the videos.
There should be about two new videos released every week. They will be glorious. Anyway, give them a look. And continue supporting our troops.
Full Onion Press Release after the, as they say, jump.
THE ONION LAUNCHES
THE ONION NEWS NETWORK
ONLINE AT ONION.COM
March 26, 2007 – The Onion, America’s Finest News Source, will launch The Onion News Network online at www.onion.com on Tuesday, March 27, 2007. The Onion News Network will provide online viewers with the most up-to-date video news reports and excerpts from Onion News Network programs every Tuesday at www.onion.com.
“We’ve been waiting for technology to catch up with our advanced vision for the future of news,” said Onion President, Sean Mills. “That day has finally come.”
The world’s leader in total news coverage will also be available by podcast on iTunes and on mobile devices by Helio. The Onion News Network will also inform Tivo subscribers in their living rooms through the broadband television service of TiVoCast. Wherever there is a news-delivery medium, The Onion News Network will be there.
“We discovered there are occasionally times in our viewers’ lives when they are forced to be away from a television,” Editor-In-Chief Scott Dikkers said. “The Onion News Network will fill these gaps of news access with a seriousness and integrity missing from news today.”
In addition to the up-to-the-second breaking news reports, online viewers will also be privileged to view excerpts from a host of other Onion News Network programs, such as “In The Know,” the nation’s oldest and most respected Sunday-morning news-analysis program hosted by Clifford Banes, the nation’s oldest and most respected newsman. “I haven’t heard of the internet,” Banes said. “As for new viewers, they’re the least of my concerns.”
About The Onion News Network:
The Onion News Network has set the standard for nonstop, globe-encompassing 24-hour television news since it was founded in December 1904. The network currently offers channels in 171 languages and has unbiased in-the-field reporters stationed in every country in the world. Inside the U.S., the network can be viewed in 92.2 million households and more than 500,000 prison cells.
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