Jack Kukoda

I know sometimes it’s difficult to stand up for what you believe in today’s crazy, MTV world, but it’s also necessary. Now I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, “Hey old man, don’t lay your civics lesson on us! We just want to smoke drugs and get down on our Playstations.” Well tough luck, Buster. Because I have something important to tell all you young people. So stop doing whatever it is young people do these days and listen up. Racism is wrongism. See what I did there? I took a word and made it sort of sound like another word. That’s so you’ll remember the lesson.

I know firsthand how wrong racism can be. My entire family was killed by racism. Luckily I wasn’t in the house at the time, but sometimes I wish I were, just so I wouldn’t miss them. I’ll never forget the sound of the sirens as I rushed over to my house, only to see it ravaged by racism. Watching in vain as the racism-fighters carried my family out. If I close my eyes, I can feel the heat from the racism. It’s almost like I’m right there, the racist flames licking my face. Wait, that was a fire. Not racism. Whoops.

Anyway, my point is get a smoke detector and check its batteries often. Don’t let racism happen to you.