Things I Have Recently Thrown At My Servants
1. Crystal goblet
2. Scalding, and I mean SCALDING, coffee
3. Several Blackberries(I rubberband my Blackberries together like remote controls.)
4. Another servant
5. The bones of the Elephant Man(I won them in a poker game.)
6. A tube sock stuffed with billiard balls.
7. My own feces
Get your freaking collective act together, servants. I just bought a hot caramel maker. You want hot caramel thrown at you?! Then don’t leave my socks lying around anymore!
I have not slept for two straight days.
