Busy, Busy, Busy!
Oh man, sometimes I feel like the phones never stop ringing around here. And by here, I mean deep within the blogosphere. A lot of people think the term “blogosphere” refers to the interconnected network of weblogs on the Internet and the way they influence each other and drive ideas. Not So! The blogosphere is actually a self-contained dome that houses a bunch of dorks. And we are always on our laptops! Talking about shitty new bands from Brooklyn!!! Oh, it’s grand!!!
Oh boy, the blogosphere is busy today. There was a big fight over whose job it was to water the tomato fields. Since the “b-sphere” is completely self-sufficient the tomato fields are very important. They provide sustenance and turn the CO2 in the air back into oxygen. As the tomato fields go, so goes the blogosphere. That’s what we say ’round here.
Anyway, I guess some people thought it was my turn to water the tomatoes, but I had an extremely good reason for not doing it. I was drunk! And not drunk on blogging. I’m talking drunk on alcohol. Before we were hermetically sealed inside the b to the log to the osphere, I managed to sneak in a flask of peppermint schnapps. It wasn’t brand name schnapps, but it was still pretty damn good. Schnapps is like sex in that way. Or pizza. I forget what I’m talking about. Oh right, tomatoes.
Anydoodles, a bunch of other bloggers told me if I didn’t stop getting drunk on peppermint schnapps and tending to my duties, they were going to kick me ouf of the blogosphere. “Blogosphere?” I said. “More like boogersphere!” Then I took a big swig of schnapps and passed out, hitting my head on one of the milk cows we depend on for milk. Well, it turns out that I was passed ouf for a few days and that’s why I’m so behind on everything. Cows! I’m drunk now.
