Brand New Power Rankings!
Wow, what a week! If you thought last week’s power rankings were crazy, then you are crazy, because compared to this week, last week’s power rankings were quite sane. So strap yourself into your straighjacket, you batshit loony bird, ’cause the Kukoda.com Power Rankings begin…now!
1. Sexy Teens (previous week: 3) I guess it was only a matter of time before Sexy Teens took over the number one spot. Honestly, have you ever tried to stop sexy teens? Impossible. They do as they please.
2. Tacos (previous week: 1) Yes, tacos are still delicious, but they couldn’t hold off sexy teens forever. This is the first time Tacos have been out of the number one spot on the rankings since last summer when I went to a county fair and Fried Dough took over the top spot.
3. The Buffalo Sabres (previous week: not on the list) Good God, do I love the Buffalo Sabres. They’re the only thing that’s keeping me going since the Bills are 3-6. I think I might get Sabretooth to come to my birthday party.
4. YouTube Videos of Kittens (previous week: 4) Oh my God, yesterday I saw this one of a kitten trying to stay awake, but he just couldn’t!!!!! It was so cute I shit in my pants!
5. Basset Hounds (previous week: 2) Basset hounds drop a few spots in the rankings because a dog peed on my leg over the weekend. No, it wasn’t a basset hound, but I’m still angry.
6. Chicken Finger Subs (previous week: not on the list) If you have never had a chicken finger sub, then you wouldn’t understand. I believe Naughty By Nature originally said that.
7. The Wayans Brothers (previous week: 5) It’s like some brilliant scientist cloned Carlos Mencia!!
8. Handjobs (previous week: not on the list) You know what, they’re not so bad.
9. School Plays Commemorating the First Thanksgiving (previous week: not on the list) If there’s anything cuter than little kids pretending to be savage Indians, I’ve yet to see it!
10. Sega (previous week: not on the list) Man, remember Sega? NHLPA ‘93?! Sonic the Hedgehog?! Shoving the cartridges up your butt and then running around the neighborhood?! That was a simpler time.
Previously: New Power Rankings!
