I need teen advice, I am an alcoholic. My friends and I spend our weekends looking for loner adults that are willing to trade us beer for 10 minutes of friendship. We prefer classy drinks like Milwaukee’s Best Ice, Michelob Ultra, and PBR. It’s such a rush, shot-gunning a couple beers to get the buzz going. We play “4-pack or splat back” - a competition in which we all stand on a busy rail track and try to drink 4 beers before the next train comes (luckily we’ve all escaped the few close calls.) I usually spend the next 2 hours trying to convince one of Joe Bob’s cousins to give me a handjob in the back of his truck.

I need to stop the vicious cycle. I can’t remember the last Saturday night I haven’t pissed in my Mom’s dishwasher or puked in my Dad’s work boots after a night of boozing.

-Paul (Drunk in Daytona)