Call Guinness!
Guess whose name is going in the World Record Books? Go ahead, guess. No, not this guy. No, not her either. What? No, not these cats! Fine, I’ll just tell you. It’s me! I’m going to be in the Guinness book of world records for having the sexiest Myspace profile in the world. It’s a fact.
I’m not quite sure what put me over the edge. Whether it was the 400 photos I posted of my abs, or the 200 photos of me it a wet t-shirt, or the 20 photos of my balls painted to look like characters from Charles Dickens’ “The Pickwick Papers,” I’ll never know. All I do know is that I can probably expect some sweet ass endorsement money to come rolling in. And maybe a spread in Playgirl or Torso magazine. One of those is for gays, I think. You know what, who cares? When you’ve got a sweet ass body like this, you don’t care who sees it.
I know that a lot of other Myspace hotties like Tila Tequila are going to be disappointed that they lost out to me, but those are the breaks, sister! I can’t help it that the people at Guinness voted me number one. Shoot, it’s not like I asked for this honor. Unless of course, you count all those bulletins I posted asking people to vote me sexies Myspace profile. But I’m not counting those and neither should you.
I can’t even imagine the roller coaster that my life is about to become. So if any of you email or call and I don’t get back to you right away, don’t you dare go running to VH1 to tell them how fame has changed me. Same goes for Inside Edition, if that show still exists. Okay, I’ve got to run. I have an interview with some Hungarian blogger to get to and I still have to change into my crotchless Spiderman costume. (That way, you can see my balls!) Spiderman? More like Sexyman! Right? Right?
If you want to be a part of the magic, you can go here and soak it up.
