The Central Park Zoo Owes Me Some Money
Ohmygodiamsopissed! I don’t know who’s in charge of that Central Park Zoo, but they owe me some money. Yesterday, I went to the zoo with some crippled children. (Yes, yes, I work with crippled children. Get over it, ladies.) Anyway, the animals at that zoo are simply incorrigible. Here is a list of my things, in no particular order, that were eaten/stolen by those damned animals. I’ve included the approximate price of those items so the zoo can reimburse me.
Fitted Yankees Hat - $25 (Stolen by a zebra.)
My Favorite Kite - $45 (Got stuck in giraffe’s mouth, giraffe then tore it to shreds.)
Pre-packed Bag Lunch - $9 (I dropped it in a puddle after being startled by a goat)
Crippled Child - I guess I’m supposed to say ‘priceless’ (Eaten by a tiger)
North Face Backpack $90 (Covered in poo thrown by monkeys.)
One Nike Shoe $65 (Gnawed by polar bear)
The way I see it, the zoo owes me 234 dollars. And a crippled child to said child’s family. I’m not really sure who I see about getting my money back. The guy I talked to yesterday was no help. He was all, “Why did you bring your kite to the zoo?” and “Who said that you could try to ride the zebras?” and “Did you say a tiger ate a child?!” Damn red tape!
That’s why I’m asking for your help, dear blogosphere. Please write letters or emails to the zoo and tell them to give me back my damn money! Thank you.
And have a good weekend.
