Greenlight This Now
Well, I finally finished my screenplay and sweet mother of God, it is freaking awesome. I haven’t sold it to anyone yet, so please don’t give out any of the details I’m about to let you in on. Otherwise, someone is liable to steal it. Here we go!
My movie takes place in the year 2008! Oh, yeah, the future! But it’s not just another futuristic thriller. It’s sort of a love story slash buddy comedy slash animal documentary. I know, I know. It sounds crazy, but stay with me.
You see, in the year 2008, whales have taken over the world. There was a nuclear war and it turns out that a whale’s blubber makes them immune to nuclear fallout. How’s that for a twist, M. Night Shamadong? I’ll give you a minute to collect the pieces of your mind that I just blew out of your ears with that little revelation. Anyhow, two whales, Arkaloo and Pete, have to race against two other whales, Steve Perry and Washu, to find a magic crystal that will somehow reverse time so they can prevent the nuclear war. Is your head still on straight?
The conflict arises when the whale named Steve Perry has second thoughts about being a villainous whale and starts helping out the two good whales. Well, you can imagine how Washu feels about this! He is not pleased and he uses all of his whale magic to summon the forces of the deep to stop the three whales from obtaining the crystal. That’s when things get really interesting. But if you want to find out how it ends, you’ll just have to go to the movie.
But before you can go to the movie, I’ll have to sell this script and get someone to make it. I’m guessing that with all the CGI and special effects involved, this movie will cost around 150 million dollars. And I want Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to play Arkaloo and Pete, respectively. Audiences love when really attractive people voice animated characters, thereby canceling out the major attribute attractive people have going for them. Why? Hey, don’t ask me! I’m just a fantastically talented screenwriter. So if you anyone of you know the studio chiefs at say, Warner Brothers or Sony Pictures, please set up a meeting for me so I can get this thing going. Oh, and you’ll have to lend me a suit. I traded the last of my clothes for food.
