Stupid Rain!
You heard me! I am seriously pissed off at you, rain! Because of you, my outdoor beer pong league game got cancelled last night. And I am not pleased.
I had been looking forward to last night’s game since the schedule came out in early June. Maybe I never told you guys this, but I’ve been a pretty serious beer pong player since college. They used to call me “Ole’ Pongy.” Get it? Pongy refers to the “pong” in beer pong. Whatever. The point is I got a super awesome squad together this year for the Hoboken Outdoor Beer Pong League.(That’s the HOBPL. Don’t call it beirut!) The team is me(Ole’ Pongy,”) James “Beer Baron” Flaybern, Paul “I Like Beer Bong” Pardire, and some other guy we just call Moose. And we are sweet!
We’re called the The Gravity Pongers(get it?) and so far we’re undefeated season. Last night we were supposed to play “The Popped Collars,” the only other undefeated team in the league. Man, I hate the Popped Collars. They go around this town(by which I mean a four block radius in Hoboken) acting like they own it. But they don’t. Various businesses and landlords and the city government own it. Whatever. That’s not important. What is important is that we were denied the opportunity to show up the Popped Collars.
We’ve had a pretty serious rivalry going with the PC’s since last summer when they beat us in the championship. They threw well and deserved to win. But after the match, James, as is his custom, passed out in a lawn chair and one of the PC’s pooped on his chin. That was gross! And a total breach of the beer pong code. It is never, under any circumstances, okay to poop on another player. Man, we ended up brawling after that one. We probably would have killed each other if not for a friendly priest who convinced us to settle our differences, not in the streets with various clubs, but on the beer pong table. Which we would have done if not for that cursed rain last night!
Well, what are you going to do? The match got rescheduled for the second week of August. Email me if you want tickets to go. Oh, and last night after the game got rained out, we all headed to a bar around the corner. Right before we left we found James passed out in the bathroom with poop all over his shirt. We’ll get you Popped Collars!
