Washington, D.C. With The Family, As Told Through Google Images
I know, I know. I need to bring my camera with me on trips like this. Who knows how much longer my parents will be able to chew their own food at a restaurant, or wear regular underwear. I should be capturing those moments for posterity’s sake. But I forgot again. So Google Images will once again be called upon to illustrate my recent trip to D.C. Here we go.
I woke up on Saturday morning at 6:30am to pack and head to the Chinatown Bus. For those of you who don’t know, there are buses that run between NYC, Boston, Philadelphia, and D.C. They are super cheap. And no, there are no chickens on the buses. It’s not like that plane in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Nor is it like the last episode of MASH. It was a baby!!!!
Anyway, I slept the whole ride down. I took a cab to my sister’s house and hung out with my Dad and brother-in-law for a while. My sister and mom had been out fabric shopping(because they’re totally gay) and when they got back, we decided to go out for lunch. My sister picked an Indian Buffet because we both like Indian food and are also unapologetic gluttons. My parents didn’t seem thrilled about Indian food, but they went along. While my sister, brother-in-law, and I went back to the buffet for multiple plates of food(like I said, gluttons) my parents sat forlornly at the table moving their food around on their plates. I think they found it a little too spicy, but rather than say so, they decided to pout like children. They are hilarious.
After lunch, Sean(my brother-in-law) and I went to play golf while my sister took my mom and dad to the oldest post office in the country. That was my dad’s idea. Jesus, that man is like a roller-coaster and a Lonely Planet Guide wrapped up into one mustachioed man from Buffalo. He always picks the craziest things to do! I’m talking ca-razy! Sean and I headed to the golf course, which was a local public course directly underneath elevated railroad tracks. Kiss my ass, Augusta National. I hadn’t played golf in about two years, so I was pretty horrible, but I hit a few good shots and had fun. I also drank beers in the sun. Oh, and I got a couple of nasty blisters that I never stopped complaining about all weekend.
Sean and I went back to the house and my sister and I immediately began making fun of my parents. This is something my sister and I do well. She doesn’t really have any comedy or theatrical experience, but when it comes to making fun of my parents until they are near tears, we’re like a vaudeville duo; finishing each other’s sentences, setting each other up, and riffing. Oh, how we riffed on those two. That’s family fun. Sean grilled steaks and shrimp out on the grill and we had a delicious dinner.
Afterwards, we all had ice cream! Weeee! I love ice cream. And because my father is a diabetic, we always have to have ice cream on hand. We watched a movie and then I headed upstairs to bed because I was tired from playing golf and drinking in the sun. My parents stayed up late and watched about five episodes of The Sopranos on my sister’s On Demand cable. My parents really like the Sopranos, but they refuse to get HBO at their house, so they catch up on it whenever they visit me or my sister. They’re leeches, these people!
All right, that’s all for now. Part II will be coming later. And, oh, the excitement you are in for!
P.S. If that picture of the puppy eating ice cream does not melt your heart, then you are dead.
