Jack Kukoda

Show me

your goats.

This May Very Well Be Libelous

Filed under: Sports!, Blatant Lies — By Jack at 10:01 pm on Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Michael Jordan by HR-1A little while ago, one of my favorite sites, Deadspin, was running people’s stories about their run-ins with famous athletes. Aside from that time I saw Marv Levy get his hair cut, I’ve never had a run-in with a famous athlete. Oh, and this one that I just remembered.

Last year I was having lunch at Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse at Grand Central. I didn’t want to, but I had friends from out of town visiting and they wanted to go. And guess who was there? That’s right. Michael Jordan himself, eating at his own restaurant! The waitress kept asking him to take his feet off the table, but he just sat there making fart noises with his armpit as if that was some sort of reasonable response. Later, a national guardsmen came up and asked for his autograph. Jordan just said, “Why don’t you inspect this bag, jerk?” Then he pulled his nutsack out and put it on the table. He then spent the rest of his meal throwing shrimp cocktail at me. It was ridiculous.

CNN, You Are A Heartless Tease

Filed under: News — By Jack at 12:06 pm on Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Rejected Catch Phrases of Larry The Cable Guy, Before Settling On “Git ‘Er Done”

Filed under: Lists — By Jack at 9:25 am on Wednesday, May 3, 2006

I Like Movies…

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 1:30 pm on Tuesday, May 2, 2006

How To Avoid The Impending Gas Crisis

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 6:08 am on Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Bullshit, I Say

Filed under: Sports!, Blatant Lies — By Jack at 4:54 am on Monday, May 1, 2006
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