Jack Kukoda

According to an article in today’s New York Times, “Nevaeh” is becoming a popular name for girls. What kind of name is “Nevaeh?” It’s Heaven spelled backwards. No, seriously it is. Tacky, Christian parents are under the impression that it is a clever name for their daughters. And it shows no signs of slowing down.

In 1999, there were only 8 babies named Nevaeh. In 2005, there were 4,457. That’s a pretty big increase. I’m no expert on social trends, but at this rate every girl born in the United States will be named Nevaeh by the year 2015. When that happens, it will be difficult to find your child in a crowded area. So, to prevent that, here are some other variations on the word Heaven that you can name your kids, you idiot fucking evangelical parents.

“Angeltown”
“Cloudland”
“Where Grandma Went”

That’s all the ones I can think of right now. I think I’m coming down with the flu or something. Sorry.

And if It’s a Boy, Will It Be Lleh? [New York Times]