Patio Furniture Blowout!!!!
Hey, it’s CRAZY JACK with another one of my INSANE offers on this season’s hottest patio furniture!!!! If you buy your patio furniture from any other website, then YOU’RE CRAZY, TOO!!!! Look at all the WACKY DEALS we’ve got this week!!!!
Two-Tone Umbrella Set! Just $49.95!!!!
$49.95? Now that’s some SERIOUSLY FUCKING INSANE patio furniture pricing!!! This umbrella set couldn’t be any CRAZIER if it was STRAPPED IN A STRAIGHT JACKET!!!!!
All-Wood Picnic Set! Just $149.95!!!!
OH MY GOD IN HELL! The price on this picnic set is so INSANE that it EATS ITS OWN FECES!!! Now that is what I call CA-RAZY!!!!
100% Aluminum “Bistro” Table and Chairs! Just $229.95!!!
AAAAARRRGHGGH!!! You want to know how CRAZY this price is? Yesterday, when I was walking past this set in the showroom, the price tag whispered to me, “I am the Son of Man. Praise be to the Lizard Rulers of Alfonsia.” Then it shit in its pants. WHAT?! Put a foil hat on this one, folks, because it’s FREAKING NUTS!!!
Email me for delivery details and payment options. You’re garden/backyard will look CRAZY FANCY!!!!!
