CNN, You Are A Heartless Tease
I almost crapped my pants with excitement when I saw this headline on CNN.com
Whoo-hoo! I thought. I love articles like these! And the thing I love the most about articles concerning the comically obese is they always have an accompanying photo of the whale-person, usually sunken into a couch, talking to a reporter.
But, no! There’s no picture of this man. Even though CNN says that he is the heaviest person alive and that he “weighs as much as five baby elephants.” How can you tell me that someone weighs as much as five baby elephants and then not show me a picture of him?! At least give me a graphic that features five baby elephants stacked on top of each other to represent this man’s weight! Is that too much to ask? Good Lord, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. I’ll be too busy imagining a scale with five baby elephants on one side and a 1,200 pound man on the other. Arrggghh!
God damn you, CNN. God damn you forever.
Here’s the article: Half-ton man may get gastric bypass [CNN.com]
