Tax Day-Related Hilarity
Yesterday at Midnight was the absolute deadline for filing your taxes. I finished mine around nine o’clock. But the good part is that while I was sweating over my W2’s and 1099’s, I managed to come up with a whole slew of hilarious tax-related jokes! I might try these out onstage soon while this tax thing is still fresh in people’s minds. Are you ready for them? All aboard the Tax Train! Too-toot!
Hey, you know what TAX stands for? “Take Away (your) Xylophones!” At least, that’s what it stands for if you’ve cheated on your taxes and all of your revenue is tied up in antique xylophones. ‘Cause the IRS will audit you and then take your xylophones! Am I right? You know I am!
Wait, hold on one second. This Tax-Related Locomotive of Hilarity has a few more stops to make. Choo-choo!
You know what I.R.S. stands for? I Repossess Sandwiches. Or it would, if you funnelled illegal profits through a shell company in order to buy lots of sandwiches! Zingadingaroo! Let’s see if this Tax-a-motive has one more stop on the Northeast Corridor of Comedy! (Train noise!)
What do an accountant and a tax collector have in common? They both deal with taxes!
That will do it for this morning’s tax-related hilarity. You might want to go to the doctor to get your funny bones fitted for a cast. ‘Cause I just fucking broke them! With my ass! I need sleep.
