Jack Kukoda

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Top Party Schools

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 7:31 am on Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Playboy just announced their rankings of the top party schools in the country for only the third time in their history. For some reason, this one didn’t make the list. (Scroll all the way down.)

Screw you, Liberty University. Any school that fines you 500 bucks for “Involvement with witchcraft, séances or other occult activities” is not one that I want to party at. My best memories of college involve getting up at 10am for some wake and bake, drinking Icehouse all day at the football tailgates, then heading down to Fraternity Row to try and raise the dead. Oh, college.

By the way, John McCain will be delivering the commencement address at Liberty University, and he’s taking a lot of heat for it. I assume he and his wife will be staying in separate dorms, lest he incur a $500 fine and a shitload of reprimands.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in.

Update: Someone else on the Internet thought of this idea first. And they did it better, too.

4 Comments »

177

Comment by Ryan

April 4, 2006 @ 12:44 pm

Hell yeah, I’m famous. I think it’s extra funny to do comparisons. According to that list, 30 times lates to convocation approximately equal to abortion. Improperly signing out to see “V for Vendetta,” putting on a mohawk, and partaking in “horseplay” while in the theatre hallway is on par with Sexual Assault. Nice.

178

Comment by tom sherman

April 4, 2006 @ 4:22 pm

Couple of days ago, I thought up a pretty innocuous way to earn $4500 in fines from Liberty U.

179

Comment by Jack

April 4, 2006 @ 4:37 pm

Ah, so you did. I’m guessing the same person alerted us to this. And after reading your post, Tom, yours is much funnier and more creative.

You’ve won this round, Tom.

P.S. I’m shamelessly stealing everything from your blog. Including your name. From now on, call me Jack “Tom Sherman” Kukoda.

180

Comment by tom sherman

April 4, 2006 @ 5:35 pm

Thanks for the link — you’re too kind. We really have Bronson (he’s got an odd blog, no longer updated) to thank for the insight into that funny little world.

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