Jack Kukoda

Show me

your goats.

Billion Dollar Idea

Filed under: Blatant Lies, Samples — By Jack at 1:56 pm on Tuesday, March 7, 2006

I’m going to go around to prisons and collect shanks that have been confiscated from the inmates. Then I’ll take those shanks and turn them back into useful, everyday objects. For instance, I’ll take a shank and file it down to make a toothbrush or a comb. My products will be called “Jack’s Second-Chance Shanks.” I will sell them at craft fairs and through a mail order catalog. It will be great.

The only problem with this idea is that I already have a business called “Jack’s Second-Chance Skanks.” That’s where I round up skanks from bus stations and dive bars, give them makeovers, teach them basic computer skills, and then help them find jobs as secretaries. I don’t make much money off of my second-chance skanks, but that’ s not why I got into this business. I do it mostly for the look a skank gets in her eyes when she has mastered Microsoft Excel. Aw, shucks, now it just sounds like I’m bragging. Anyway, keep an eye out for both of my business ventures.

And I certainly hope these guys are being ironic in their name choice. I’m pretty sure they are.

I Make My Own Wine

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 3:03 am on Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Would Anyone Like To Start A Band With Me?

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 1:39 pm on Monday, March 6, 2006

Watch Out, Mr. Blackwell!

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 12:03 am on Monday, March 6, 2006

Last Minute Goat Action

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 1:34 am on Saturday, March 4, 2006

Friday Roundup

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 3:11 pm on Friday, March 3, 2006

Money, Money, Money

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 2:04 am on Friday, March 3, 2006

Humble Beginnings

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 11:15 am on Thursday, March 2, 2006

Too Easy

Filed under: Arbitrary Cruelty — By Jack at 7:56 am on Thursday, March 2, 2006

Happy Ash Wednesday

Filed under: Lists, Blatant Lies — By Jack at 7:52 am on Wednesday, March 1, 2006
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