Jack Kukoda

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You Think You Had It Rough?

Filed under: Blatant Lies — By Jack at 8:19 am on Wednesday, March 29, 2006

This is the boat that my ancestors came over on.
Old Boat 2
In the late 1850’s, over 200 Kukodas crammed themselves into this rickety vessel to make the voyage from Hungary to the United States. And once they got here, they stayed on the boat until they got to Buffalo. A lot of families would have disembarked in New York and taken a wagon train across the country. Not the Kukodas. The men of my family took turns towing that boat overland across New York State.

Other travelers kept yelling at them to stop, but my family wouldn’t listen. “What in the hell are you doing, you stupid Hungarians?” People would say. “At least put some wheels on that boat or have a donkey tow it before you kill yourselves.” But the Kukodas refused. Nearly half of them were crippled by the journey, but they didn’t complain. Talk about hearty people.

That’s what makes us Kukodas so successful; our unbelievable work ethic. I’ll give you an example. Less than two weeks ago, during a catering gig, I worked coat check at a party on the Upper East Side for three full hours. Three! And I only hid out in the bathroom to take a nap once! For less than 15 minutes!

A job like that would have broken lesser men. Not me, though, and I owe it all to my forebears.

You can look up your ancestors here: EllisIsland.org. It’s pretty amazing, actually.

2 Comments »

172

Comment by Melanie

March 29, 2006 @ 4:09 pm

Good one today Kukoda.

173

Comment by anne

March 29, 2006 @ 8:52 pm

Sounds like the workaholic Kukodas skated town before the Pinkos arrived. The couch potatoes who stayed don’t dig the last 17 years of Capitalism too much apparently. “The freedom to get a job sucks,” they say, and they’re shouting it off rooftops before the big election. I can’t say I disagree entirely, but I was in Budapest ‘88 and couldn’t get a goddamned ice cube to save my life. They’re just too damn lazy to freeze water for chilled beverages. You ever have hot apricot juice out of a carton for breakfast? Because they don’t have orange juice? Or ice cubes? Or glass? If you did, you’d never forget it, I tell you that much.

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