Jack Kukoda

Show me

your goats.

Here’s A Terrible Idea For a Movie

Filed under: Miscellaneous — By Jack at 12:47 pm on Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Carry on, indeed.It would be called Carry On, My Wayward Son. The movie would be about a guy named Zack Dakota, who is trying to drive from New York up to Maine to visit some friends. And he’ll keep asking directions, but the only thing people will say to him is, “Carry on my wayward son.”

And Zack will get really pissed and say, “No, seriously, how to I get to 91 North? I’m trying to get to Portland, Maine to see some friends and I’m already late. Please stop telling me to ‘carry on’ and calling me your ‘wayward son.’ It’s getting very frustrating.”

And then Zack will get back into his car, drive a little more, get lost, and have to ask for directions again. But all people will say to him is “Carry on, my wayward son.” And Zack will go crazy.

Also, whenever characters in the movie aren’t talking, Kansas’ “Carry On, My Wayward Son” will be playing.

I seriously think this would be the worst movie ever made. Seriously, can you think of anything worse than an hour and a half of some guy driving around and asking directions and then people just repeat the name of a shitty Kansas song? And then that shitty Kansas song keeps on playing? That would be horrible! I doubt I could watch it for more than a few minutes. I’m just saying.

Previously: Here’s a Terrible Idea for a Sketch

Kansas’ Official Website - Yes, “Carry On My Wayward Son” will begin playing immediately when you open their site just in case you weren’t sure.

2 Comments »

170

Comment by james

March 29, 2006 @ 12:35 pm

On the other hand, a movie that revolves around the lyrics of a cheesy song that would be sure to be a box office hit would have to be “Dirty White Boy”….and Foreigner sings….

“Hey, baby, if you’re feelin’ down
I know what’s good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin’ me

’cause I’m a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

Don’t drive no big black car
Don’t like no hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You don’t give a damn what I do to you

I’m just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Well, I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

I’ve been in trouble since I don’t know when
I’m in trouble now and I now somehow I’ll find trouble again
I’m a loner, but I’m never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone

’cause I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

C’mon, c’mon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Hey, I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, I’m a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah”

171

Comment by Jack

March 29, 2006 @ 1:28 pm

James, is this your way of telling us that you’re starting a Foreigner tribute band? If so, can I please play the drums? And, actually, can we be a Foreigner/Doors tribute band? We could be called “Foreign Riders on the Storm.”

Let’s do this! Paul can play keyboards.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>