Jack Kukoda

Well, this story on CNN.com is pretty incredible:

Jesse Sullivan powers robotic arms with his mind

Now that’s how you write a headline! The story is about a real-life bionic man named Jesse Sullivan who was electrocuted a few years ago while working for a power company and had to have his arms amputated. He became a candidate for an experimental project and now has robotic arms that he can control using his mind! Swear to God. That’s absolutely amazing. Even more amazing is the following quote from his doctor.

“We haven’t spent $6 million yet, but we hope to!” said Dr.Todd Kuiken, director of amputee services at R.I.C.

Wait, did I say amazing? I meant horribly inappropriate. If I were an amputee, and my doctor was making lame ass jokes based on references to an old television show, I would punch him in the face with my robotic arms. Or, if I had robotic legs, I would use those to kick my doctor in his smart-ass shins. You get the point. There would be some robotic fury directed towards my hacky-jokey making doctor. Word up.

Oh, and the third round of the NCAA tournament kicks off tonight, but will I be watching it? No, because I will be reading here tonight. Instead of watching the game while sitting in a gigantic bowl of nachos that I have to eat my way out of, I’ll be entertaining(hopefully) some literary types. That’s okay by me. I’ll actually be reading a story or two about sports, so everything will even out.