What You Missed By Not Coming To My Birthday Party
1. A Dancing Bear
2. A Dancing Monkey
3. Me drinking out of a novelty coconut
Only one of those thing actually happened. Can you guess which one?
If you said “dancing bear,” give yourself a pat on the back. Then give yourself a poke in the eye because you’re an idiot and you’re wrong. It was a dancing monkey that was at my birthday party last night. Who would let a bear into a bar? Not me. And certainly not the management of the Party Palace, which is where I celebrated my birthday last night. What? You’ve never been to the Party Palace? Can’t say that I’m surprised. It’s sort of a secret place and it’s totally awesome. You know how in some bars they have bras and underwear hanging from the ceiling so you know it’s a crazy place? Well, the Party Palace is actually made out of bras and underwear. Literally, it’s constructed out of them. It’s totally sweet. And so am I.
My head hurts. Actually, it wasn’t really a birthday party. It was just me playing pool with about 10 people in a bar. Please don’t feel like you were slighted. Especially you sexy teens who read this site. You know I love you, sexy teens.
