Win A Date With Jack Kukoda!
That’s right, I’m auctioning myself off for charity! All you have to do is send a postcard with your name on it to the post office, explaining why I should date you. Be specific! And, since it’s for charity, you’ll be paying! Here’s how our date will transpire, told through the magic of an iPhoto slide show.
I will pick you up on my scooter.
We will have dinner.
I will get drunk on pina coladas.
In my drunken state, I will become convinced that playing with gas pumps is both hilarious and a good idea.
You will scold me for playing with gas pumps and I will become enraged. Look at me rage!
After I calm down, I will take you Celebrity bowling.
Where I will get drunk on champagne.
You will scold me again, and I will hide my face in shame.
To make it up to you, I will rent us a stretch Hummer limo.
And drive to the Pantheon.
Where, unfortunately, I will get drunk on egg nog and fall asleep in a ditch.
Think you can handle all that romance?! Then enter today!
