Jack Kukoda

One of the city’s millionaires, who happened to make his fortune in strip clubs, has amassed the most complete collection of checks signed by former presidents. God. Damn. Why do other cities even try to compete with my hometown anymore?

Who needs a Museum of Modern Art when you’ve got a titty bar magnate showing off presidential signatures? Not Buffalo, my friend. Not Buffalo. And you can keep your skyscrapers, too. Because who needs skyscrapers when you can claim the world’s only brick boat. That’s a boat made of bricks!