Canada, You Are Adorable!
Gosh, I just wanted to pinch Canada on its rosy little cheeks when I read this article about how they plan to reassert their authority over Canada’s Arctic waters. Newly-elected Prime Minister Stephen Harper is actually planning on putting military ice-breakers up in the arctic to keep other countries out. Isn’t that cute? Here’s what Harper had to say when US ambassador David Wilkins expressed his displeasure at the move:
“It is the Canadian people we get our mandate from, not the ambassador of the United States,” he said.
SNAP! Take that, Mr. Wilkins! Do Not mess with Canada! Just kidding. Oh, where does the Prime Minister come up with this stuff? I just want to wrap my arms around the guy! Can’t you just see him out in the arctic in an oversized military uniform, marching about with a toy gun, protecting the polar bears and seals? Here’s what else he had to say:
“I was very clear about this in the election campaign: the United States defends its sovereignty. The Canadian government will defend our sovereignty.”
Hmm. Not sure if this is still cute. I think PM Harper is trying to draw a correlation between the US invading Iraq in a pre-emptive strike, and Canada prohibiting other countries from entering the Arctic. I’m going to have to disagree with you here, Canada. I know the new PM is trying to look tough and prove he’s not in love with Bush, but if you’re going to emulate one aspect of the US, I suggest something other than our invasion of Iraq. That hasn’t really been one of our most successful or popular endeavors. Maybe try and copy our love of the automobile or the Super Bowl first. Or maybe our abundance of sexy college girls willing to bare it all for the cameras. I bet Canadians would like more of those. Not me, though. My apartment is already full of them. I can barely get to my kitchen, as is. I’m just kidding, sexy college girls. You know I love you!
Harper to U.S.: Keep out of Canada’s Arctic [Toronto Star]
