That Show “OZ” Is Full Of Shit
Not really sure why this made front page news on Yahoo, but it did.
Disputed Study: Rape Rare in Prisons
Basically, a cultural anthropologist in California conducted a study on how often rape actually occurs in prisons, and surprisingly, found that prison rape is much less common than movies and TV make it seem. “Well, that’s nice,” I thought to myself when I read the story. “Now I can stop worrying about going to prison for fear of being raped, and get back to my highly illegal, yet highly lucrative business of selling counterfeit Oakleys. Awesome!”
Then I came to the part in the story where it explains that the entire study was based on interviews with inmates about whether or not they were raped. That was how the they conducted the entire study: a little Q & A session. I don’t know about you, but if I were in prison and someone invited me to participate in a rape study, I probably wouldn’t be all that forthcoming.
ANTHROPOLOGIST: So, you ever been raped in prison?
ME: Wait, who are you again?
ANTHROPOLOGIST: Oh, sorry, I’m Mark Fleisher. I’m a cultural anthropologist. But back to my question, you ever been raped in here?
ME: Why do you want to know?
ANTHROPOLOGIST: I’m conducting a study for the Justice Department. Also, I’m kind of curious.
ME: Do I get anything in return for cooperating with you?
ANTHROPOLOGIST: Nope, not really. You just answer some questions and then it’s back to that never-ending rape orgy that is your life. Or, if my hypothesis is correct, that non-rape orgy. I’m sorry, I’m getting off topic. The point is I just need you to tell me, a complete stranger, whether or not you have experienced one of the most horrific, scarring experiences that a human being can possibly go through. You know, prison rape.
ME: Right.
ANTHROPOLOGIST: So which is it?
ME: Uh, in the interest of maintaining a small measure of dignity, I’m going to say that I haven’t been raped.
ANTHROPOLOGIST: Okie doke. Thanks so much. You’ve been great.
ME: (Under my breath) I hope you die.
ANTHROPOLOGIST: What?
ME: I said I hope you die. I don’t know why I whispered it the first time.
ANTHROPOLOGIST: I get that a lot. See ya!
THE END.
And here’s a fun fact: My college roommate graduated with a B.A. in Anthropology. I’m not sure if he’s studying any interesting cultures, but I do know that he’s currently crashing at his girlfriend’s apartment in Hoboken because he doesn’t have an apartment. So that’s sweet!
Disputed Study: Rape Rare in Prisons [Yahoo!]
