Last Christmas List, I Swear
Now that the crush of holiday parties, last minute shopping, and Christmas itself is over, I can finally check off some items on my holiday to-do list. Let’s see if I got everything done this year:
1. Buy and wrap presents for Clare(my sister) and Sean(her husband.) Check.
2. Burn the greatest Christmas mix CD known to man. Check.
3. Send online Christmas cards to dork friends. Check.
4. Get into bar fight over disagreement about a game of darts. Check.
5. Attend my high school class’ Christmas party. Check.
6. Make out with an ex-girlfriend under a blanket on a stranger’s couch. Check.
7. Show up an hour late to my uncle’s house on Christmas Eve with an egg nog hangover. Check plus!
8. Go to Mass, it’s only one day a year. Nope.
9. Forget to buy my father a present, try to cover tracks by saying I got him a book on Amazon, but they couldn’t ship it in time, mumble incoherently when he asks what the book is about, then change subject. Check.
10. Help the needy. Just kidding.
11. Steal the baby Jesus from a neighborhood Nativity display, take photos of the baby Jesus in incriminating situations. Still to do.
